Decent Bank Holiday

Its been a good last couple of days both on and off the poker tarbs this wkend. On the Saturday me and the bird went into town for the day. First up we had a nice little river cruise on the Thames in the sunshine and then had some lunch and a little mince around the Tower Bridge and Trinity Gardens. We got the same cruise back to Westminster which was proper comedy with some cockney geezer pointing out all the major attractions that London has to offer. He was cracking a lot of gags and it was a good little trip. Whenever i usually go into town i either get ball bagged in the Square, Piccadilly and Soho areas etc or end up in the Empire Casino. You actually forget that there is a shit load of stuff to do in London and not all of it is redic expensive. After the boat thing we had a few beers in Covent Garden and watched this random blokes street performance from the Punch & Judy and then went to Trocadero to watch Man U vrs them dirty goons, wp Diaby.

On the Sunday morning i played footy for a new team i have recently signed for. I already know a few of the lads and its been nice to get back into the mix again. The team is prolly the best Sunday League side i've played for tbh. Last wk we beat last seasons league and county cup winners and this Sunday we pissed all over some team for another league beating em 5-1 in a friendly. The league starts next wk and apparently im starting right mid although i reckon i am gonna struggle to hold down a regular place especially as i've seen snails move quicker than me. Good thing i've got mad skillz and a decent football brain to make up for my lack of pace.
I didn't make the carnival in the afternoon mainly because a load of my mates met up at fookin 10am and footy didn't finish until 1pm and i didn't fancy treking into town on my jack jones to meet them bastards especially as it would have been rammo and difficult to find them. I just ended up having an afternoon snooze which was a bit gay and then made a tiny prof on the cyber felt in the evening.
Todays poker was more profitable and i booked a $550 ish win plus i earned my 250 VIP points on Boyle for the IPO festival in Dublin that i am going to in Oct. A decent end to the month i guess that sees me finish August with a profit of about $5,250. I could have easily played more than double the volume that i put in this month aswell imo. Its nice to know that i can still make some ok monies from this stupid game when i put some effort in. Its a lot tougher these days but its still like printing money, it always has been. Its a nice feeling to have that if i put the hrs in and stay disciplined and don't freak out too much then i'll make money. I made about $3.1k from 45 manners and the other $2k from normal mtt's plus a few bits and pieces from rakeback. The goal for Sept is to simply increase the volume and play more games than i did in August.
Haha, as i conclude this latest blog post i can hear my housemate Scotch banging his bird, it makes me laugh every time. Its usually all quiet then i hear about 30-40 seconds of frantic pumpage and then silence. About 4-5 mins later without fail the door to his bedroom opens and his bird scurries along the hall into the bathroom to wipe her fanny probably. What a disgusting thought having to wipe away Scotchay's smelly spoonk from your minge, arrrrgh. lol, i hope Scotch don't show her this blog! Anyways, I think I'll leave you with that thought for now fish, laters.

Fuck Off Full Tilt!!!

It feels like i am running horrible atm and its pissing me off. I keep fooking breaking even which is obv better than losing but i feel like i am losing the majority of hands when im either flipping, ahead or behind alot more than i should be. arrrrrrrrrgh er3fjgliuewh;efr. I keep getting disconnected aswell which is really frustrating including tonight for a 10 -15min spell which i think prolly cost me between the region of $500-$1k. I had to log off for a couple of hrs after that and regain my composure. I don't often lose my temper but i was honestly really close to lobbing my shit fkin lappy against the wall. I logged back on after a small chill out and regained tonight's loses to yet again break even but i still felt hard done by even then. Can i get a crucial hand to hold??? NO! Can i win an important flip???? NOOOO. Can i suck out one time you mother fucking bastards????? OF COURSE I FUCKING CAN'T!!!!!! I am gonna end of looking like that geezer in the pic in a couple of yrs if this carries on i reckon. My mate Ad's who has been playing this sick game for a living for 5 yrs already looks a bit like him tbh ;-)
Tonight is probably the last time i'll play this month because im going out all day in London with the missus tomorrow and then i've got footy on Sunday morn followed by beers galore at the Notting Hill carnival in the afternoon/evening with the lads so it should be a gd weekend hopefully. Just staked one of my mates (the one in the pic) to play 70 $26 45 manners on a 50/50 + sb deal. He's got skillz a great record in these games but is always going busto because of his appalling brm and general all round degeneracy so hopefully he can make us both a few quid. Also turns out that i apparently owe someone else $500 for some stupid bet that i never knew existed until the other day which has fked me off. I still don't really know what the score with it is, or if i am even gonna pay up tbh. Ohhh well nevvvermind. Laters :-)

My New Website

Alright fishays since my last post i have been extremely busy designing my new website and i can now unvail the finished article. Over 3 yrs ago i begun work on Amatay's Pokay and i can know introduce you all to Amatay's Pornay site, enjoy!!! Joking aside i haven't really got too much to post about atm, can you tell? :-) In fact im pretty sure that if i deleted my porn links that i would lose 2/3's of my "readers" tbh.

In regards to poker I have basically broken even over the past week which sucks massive cock and i got bum raped pretty hard in a session tonight aswell which pissed me off. Dunno what else to write, laters.

Winning, Staking, Wasps & Danger Wanks!

Alright fishays, sorry i haven't updated recently its partly laziness and partly due to a bit of writers block tbh. Not got too much material atm, i guess im running out of Scotch jokes and porn links :-) Been playing bits and bobs of online pokay over the past week, mainly the $26 45 manners because im such a faggot plus a few mtt's mixed in. Its been going ok on the 45 manners and i've added another $1k to the roll since my last post so im up about $4.5k ish so far this month.
Been getting involved in staking a few fish recently as well. I was making a bit of money from staking Doomswitch at 11 doll SnGays until he donated all that profit back in his last session. Staked Kenn $600 one week as well but obv he runs shit whenever i back him. Got SnakeEyes making some money for me atm with a $550 stake for 50 $11 45 manners and he's doing really well thus far.

The lappy has been proper pissing me off recently. Twice i have had to shut down a session early because the fucker keeps freezing so i have to dig Scotchays crappy laptop out and by then i have kinda lost my rhythm. I also got stung by a fkin wasp today whilst in the midst of 9 tarbling which didn't help. I heard the little fucker buzzing behind my ear hole so i went to flick it away and the cunt stung me on the finger which tilted me up a bit so i went after the bastard thing with an old poker magazine. I was at 3 final tarbs at the time as well and there's me flapping around the living room trying to twat the little cunt whist the lappy was bleeping away. I swotted the little fucker but it was one of those swipes where you know you connected but you also know that its still probably half alive. After swiping it i couldn't see where it went so i returned to the lappy anxiously awaiting its return. Two minutes later i see the little bastard crawling up my shorts. I shit myself but eventually squashed the mother fucker. However, i didn't completely kill him off and he was still wriggling around on my window sill, but he was completely immobilised so i left him there. I wanted the cunt to die a slow and painful death for stinging me, bit twisted i know lol. I think i have been stung about 20 times in my life, i seem the attract the fucking things. I once stood on a wasp nest when i was a nipper and got done all over my legs. I fucking hate wasps!

Returning to the story about my rubbish laptop, i think the reason its gone sooo shit is because i have finally got the wireless working again and its seems to have slowed it right down. On the plus side though in means no more danger wanking in the living room! I can just take my lappy into my bedoom now if i fancy a sneakay wank. Definitely a good thing as it was only a matter of time before Scotchay would have caught me pants down bashing furiously away to some online Smut! Arrrgh, that would make for an errrr interesting blog post, especially if the ginger fish caught me at the point of no return, nightmares.
Had a really nice weekend just gone when my sister got married to her long term partner Mark. The day went really smoothly and i took my missus with me to meet my parents etc for the first time and everything went well. I was a bit nervous tbh, im not sure why but i guess that i just wanted everything to go well for my sister and the family etc and it did so result. Right, i wont bore you with the details of the day, later fishays.

"Grinding"

Been grinding a fair amount since DTD, actually i'll stop there because that's complete bullshit, wtf am i talking about? I ain't been grinding at all, i think i have played 20 hrs in total which is really poor, its good for me i guess but it should be double tbh. I was up $1.4k after 6hrs but have since lost 14 hrs of my life along with 500 doll leaving myself with a $900 profit so far this month from the 45 manner games on FTP which is a bit tezza. I actually played one 7hr session from 8am-3pm on Thursday i think after being woken up by the missus with a delicious morning bloway. I really enjoyed it tbh, the poker session that is and the bloway (obv) but i decided to cut the session short after i noticed one of Scotchays ginger pubes clinging to my dressing gown whilst 9 tarbling and almost threw up. I couldn't concentrate after that so it was game over.
Nothing much to blog about im afraid, just been spending time with the bird which has been nice and playing the occasional bit of pokes. Every time i sit here in front of my lappy it seems like such a chore to play online and i get easily distracted. If i can somehow grind out a decent sum of profit in the next 2 wks or so then i am gonna try a small spin up at the end of the month. I have $900 on Party which has not been used in months and i plan to grind the 8, 10, 20 and 30 doll rebuys and 20, 30 50 and 100 freeze outs in an attempt to spin or bust the account. I also have a spare 100 euros floating around on Boss too so i might as well bust that on the same day.
Well done to Snake Eyes for winning the the www.raisetheriver.com league and an all expenses paid poker trip to Paris. The next league involving a poker trip to Amsterdam starts in a few weeks so get yourself signed upto the fourm you mugs! Also a big thanks to Accornman for bringing this site to my attention, cheers :-)

RTR@DTD=Weeeeeee

Went to Dusk Til Dawn in Nottingham this weekend for a Raisetheriver forum meet up and had a good little trip. There were 10 RTR fish there in total 8 of whom stayed for the wkend at the Premier Inn including NoCash, Mr Origami, DoV, Rubbish (Ace), dD, Longy and Cogs, BurnleyMik and Ant joined us on the Saturday. Everyone seemed pretty sound tbh, i've meet Cogs, Mik, Ant and dD before and they are all cool blah blah blah. DoV was a funny cunt, fucking 100mph. I think he's probably quite a chirpy fellow anyways but i'm sure he must have been hooted up to the max or pilled out of his eye balls, prob both! NoCash was a bit of an animal aswell who loved to guzzle just about any alcoholic drink and who built himself a small rep as an aggro cash fish. Im gonna bust you up big time at the next meet you fkin donk ;-) Didn't really chat to Rubbish that much but he seemed like a top lad and has a funny story from the trip which i'm not sure i can mention because no one else seems to have said anything on the subject??? Mr Origami was a really nice geezer aswell which is surprising because he lives near and supports them dirrrtay scouse bastards Liverpool. Longy was the local boy and also a nice chap. He's been playing poker for a living for 5 yrs although from a brief chat we had it seems he is almost as lazy as me, fkin bum. Right, that's enough of sucking these fish off here's what i really felt about them... They are all a bunch of annoying irritating twats (especially Cogs) who are all shit at poker (especially Cogs). I basically endured their company for 48 hrs (especially Cogs) just to be polite and was only there to take their money (especially Cogs). Here's a rundown of the wkend's events....

Me and Coggy got there about 4pm and we all done the usual meet and greet stuff with the rest of the lads in the hotel lobby over a couple of sherbets then set off to meet up with Longy at some gaff next to a canal. Few more beers were sunk and we decided to go to DTD just to reg for the mickey mouse £50 freeze out on Saturday which in hindsight was probably a mistake. Most of us sat down at a .5/1 game with just 50 notes and that biatch NoCash quickly rinsed a few of us for a total of about £250 ish. He busted me once when i played AQ about as bad as possible on every street. I then busted DoV for his stack with 2pr vrs tp but somehow lost all my winnings then brought another £50 to the tarb before losing a flip versus some tool with pock snowman to leave me stuck a ton after about 30-45 mins. After this quick poker stint we all zipped back to the Premier Inn to briefly scrub up before going out into town.

I only remember goin to two places, cant recall the name of the first place but the second gaff was a standard Walkabout. Both places were quite quiet and a few of the lads nipped over the road to some other bar which sounded really good when i heard about it the next day. According to the lads it was a milf haven, which is my idea of heaven ;-) The fish came back from milf central after 15-20 mins and we decided to leave as Walks was a bit pony and peeps were leaving anyways as it was 2am. Apparently there was some club open until 6am and four of lads went there. I was ummming and errring about goin also but Cogs mentioned it would be some crazy rave gaff and after i moments thought i decided he was prob right and i didnt fancy it tbh. I've been to those places before, sort of like Hedi Kandi bollocks which i hate. Cogs was fkin trollified anyways and was ready for bed so i joined him! LOL thats sound proper gay. Fairplay to Dov, NoBollocks, dD and Mr O going thou although the next day they did say it was some nutter rave scene and a bit shit. I think DoV and NoCash went to the strippers after that aswell, dirtay fish! Strangely Rubbish had vamooosed???

Oh yeah one more thing i've also just remembered. Most of us also paid a visit to Mc'D's as we were all fking hanking. However, this must be the gayest Macca's ever because you couldn't just buy a burger you had to get a meal, WTF is that all about??? Never heard of that one. Coggy was abs steaming and getting proper angry bless the lil fish He refused to adhere to McD's stupid rules for a gd 20 mins strutting around outside looking like a pitball chewing a wasp until i told the fish to stop being a twat and just get a meal. Fkin redic rule thou and i was a tad pissed off myself. They had this giant security guard on the door prob because it kicks off a fair bit. I'm not surprised tbh because most people were getting a bit heated. I just wanna bloody burger ffs, fk the drink and fries you bastards!

Next day i've got the usual horrible hangover and have to listen to Cogs in the bed next to mine grief me up about what a larry i am and that i'm sooo lazy etc. Yes mate, i get bad hangovers most of the time and i like my lay ins in the morning and errr afternoons :-) I eventually surfaced at about 1pm and met most of the lads in the lobby, although DoV wasn't too be seen and no one caught up with him until 4pm that day. Rubbish was there thou and apparently his vanishing act was due to his smooth moves in the milf haven place. The geezer got hold of some bird, LEGEND! I told him the title of his next post should be Rubbish Rumps which strangely enough is also the story of Coggy's life according to his missus. Now here is the bizarre part...apparently this bird that Rubbish got hold of came down to the lobby at about midday, sat there with a few of the lads, had a smoke then went back to bed in Rubbish's room! FML that's unheard of. Usually when you have a one night stand you wanna get the fk out of there quick sharp. Perhaps Rubbish is some sort of animal in the sack and she wanted seconds??? Rubbish by name but not by nature, hahaha i make myself laugh sometimes. I hope you don't mind me writing about your sexual exploits btw mate? lol. If so gimme me a shout and i'll delete it.

Early afternoon we all had a mince around town then grabbed some munch in Yates and started to get back on the beers. We all got the standard all day brekkie which Mr O waffed down in about 0.7 seconds, seriously i have never seen someone eat soooo quickly. I bascially blinked and he had a clean plate. It took me about 10 mins to struggle through about half my munch although having said that Mr O might be the quickest eater ever but FML i have never seen someobody eat as slow as dD (you cunt). I think mould was beginning to grow on his food by the time that fish had finished. After DoV finally sufaced we all got a taxi down to DTD to play the evenings £50.

Nine RTR fish played this tourn which attracted a total of 94 runners. Mik and Ant had satted into the £300 but busted day 1 with pretty grim bad beat stories. My tournament got off to a superb start before i had even played a hand after finding out i had be drawn on the same tarb as Cogs and was sat to his direct left. Not only could i watch, laugh and abuse his weak play, it was easy chips, happy days! I managed to chip up abit early doors by trapping the same poor mug in quick succession by letting him bluff a chunk of chips off when he didnt know wtf he was representing. I then sucked out on some poor fish in a completely standard pot where i'd opened with JJ and a shortie blasted all over me. It was about half my stack and we were not exactly playing very deep as is the structure in these £50 live donkaments so i obv snapped him off and cracked his bullets with a jack on the river. After this hand i was never really in trouble and pretty much always felt in control of my tables. With about 35 left i won a key hand again when i opened with JJ and got too callers. I quite liked the QJx flop and C bet only to see some tool and one of the few fish left in the tourn who had me out chipped blast with Q10, [ ] wp mate. After this hand i was always CL or there abouts and bascially bulldozed over the field. The players were really tight and it was a poor field tbh, i was raising with all sorts of bullshiz with little resistance apart my from some idiot who 3 bet me allin after i had been raising about 4 times every orbit with J6o. I didnt hate his move tbh because he had enough chips to make me fold etc but unfortunately for him on this occasion i had AK and it held. It felt like i pissed it from about 14 players onwards with everyone folding to the money and i eventually ground down the field and got HU with a decent young geezer. Made a few moves on this bloke as he wasnt a complete fish and he got pretty short before blasting all in with pock 8's and its always nice to look down at a pair of hooklings when someone does that! Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. JJ deffo the hand of the tourny for me. Shippardee shipppp shipppppppppp mcgipp! £1,645. Thanks to Rubbish and Mr O for the railage.

Its was a great little trip and such a nice touch for me to win the £50f plus i made an extra £90 from a last longer bet. Been a decent start to the month as i made a quick fire $560 on ftp last night so happy days. Great to meet all you lads, look forward to the next one. Laters!!