Amatay's Blog

I am Lucky

2009-11-06T20:43:00.001Z

That is all.

Live Blogging

2009-10-27T18:41:00.038Z

Gonna try and post updates throughout tonight on my progress in the tournays listed below on both Party and ipoker. I might unreg from a few as the night goes on depending on how many tarbs i have running/how tilted i get. Please let me win some mad ones, i deserve it :-)

Haha pure comedy in the $30, $6k gtd... First hand i get AA mbn. 3 limpers, one fish makes it 80 and i just jam 1500 lol. fish behind me insta calls allin and everyone folds. Obv he has the mightay snowman and i hold for a full dooob, ez game.

Dooobed in the $20, $4k gtd KK v JJ aipf, its how i roll

Just missed a huge spot to get chips in the $100 with 1010 facing an open jam and insta call. I was ready to call then changed my mine last min. Oppo's had AK and AJ and i would have scooped, bad fold. Doing nothing in the $20r. Currently 4 tarbling.

Doubled in the $100 with AK v 88, made a flush on the river :-)

Doubled in the $20 $4k gtd. 64 (never loses) in the bb vrs a slowplayed AA on a 456 flop. This game is easy! Top 20 in chips with about 100 left.

Sigh, QQ v 1010 in $20rb period. Window 10. reload time

Just made a gd call in the $100. i make it 800 with KQ playing 150/300 on button and sb jams for 3.5k. i have 6.5k. I call he has KJ and i hold.

Chip leader in the $4k gtd with 85 ish left. Just sucked out with AK v KK. Running gd so far.

Unregged from the $10 and $5 rebuys on ipoker. Pointless tourns with redic fields.

Busted the $30 $6k gtd 70/253 got waaaay too short. Struggling in the $20r, approaching bubble in the $100 ut oh, stacked in the other tourn

Busted the $20r losing a race aq v 55. Only 2 tabbing atm. Prob shouldnt really start my sesh until 9 tbh because thats when things get busy.

13/30 in the $100 and 18/63 in the little 20 buck on ipoker

Cashed in the $100, currently 11/20 but its basically one move poker. Be nice to get higher than fkin 6th this time!

HUGE double. 4/16

FINAL 4/10. Let me top 3 and have a freeroll for tonight pls

2/6. One fkin time in my fkin life pls!

Rivered in the little 20 buck for a min cash in 26th.

Currently 4 handed in the $100.

Busted the $55 in redic fashion in a 3 way pot with AA v KQ v AK.

3/3 in the $100 on pp. All pretty even. $1.4k locked :-)

I'm a wimp and dealt HU for $3.15k. Happy days!!!

Currently 8 tarbling. Missed loadsa spots and an add on period whilst shipping the $100 so might stop this blog for a bit and concentrate

Out of the $100 on ipoker in a dirtay spot with AJ v J10 on an A98 bord.

Just decided to unreg from my last 3 tourns the $7r $30f and 100f as i have lost focus. I have 7 tarbles on the go atm.

Just busted the 30r on ipoker and 30f on pp AQ v AA both times. How do the fish find these hands?? The cunt on ipoker slowrolled me hard as well, bastard!

Out of the $50 on ipoker 77>>>88. 4 tarbs left and only 10 bigs in 2 of them :-(

Just busted another AK v AK v 99 near the money. Flop k55 turn 9, dsfwerdfwds. I'm glad i unregged the other mtt's, i just cant sit here for any longer than 6-7hrs max! 3 mtt's left

Just busted the trusty $8r near the money bubble bluffing with 52. Check raised flop, bet turn and blasted the river. Cant these fkin fish fold full houses ffs, doh! About to bust the $30r but have a gd stack in a $27 in ipoker.

Sick how quickly it all changes. Gone from having about 5 bigs on the 30r to 13/60. errrr one time pls :-) Still going well in the little $27 on ipoker.

Sigh, rivered in the $27, 88 v A10 to bust 28th. 16/28 in the 30r on pp.

14/22 in the $30r. top 20 cash.

Made the money, 14/17 thou.

Fkin brutal game. Busted in 11th losing KK v 85 aipf in a big pot to give me a real chance at shipping another tourn then done my last 3 bigs with 75ss v J10 and flopped a str8 flush draw but bricked my billion outs, oh well. In the end i only played 13 mtt's tonight instead of the planned 18 and made a $2.6k profit. Goodnight!

Double Celebration!

2009-10-23T02:29:00.012Z

I've been thinking about going on a long trip to Australia and New Zealand for a while now but its only just recently that i have got my act together and in the past couple of weeks i've been busy planning and sorting to shit out and today i finally booked it! Myself and Scotch fly out to Melbourne on the 18th Jan where we will be working our way up and around the East Coast. On the 18th March we fly from Sydney to Christchurch and then work our way through New Zealand and fly home from Auckland on the 18th May. I can't fucking wait, super excited!

The other little touch i had today was on the cyber felt. I fired up 6 mtt's a $22f $27f $30r and a $109f on ipoker which i busted just outside the money. I min-cashed a $55f but managed to ship the $8r on Partay for $2.5k, weeeeeeee.

On the downside i think i just blew up my oven because whilst i was deep in three comps i forgot that i had popped in 5 chicken drumsticks for a small late night snack. I've basically incinerated the chicken drummers and now the oven don't seem to work properly, fml. I couldn't write a post without a bad beat story now could i? Time for shut eye, laters fish :-)

Dublin Trip Report

2009-10-21T23:05:00.010Z

Here's a rundown of what happened this weekend in the Emerald Isle. Firstly i had to pick that fish Cos 'Greekstein' Papertits up from Watford Junction at 2pm on Thursday and then drive up to Notts to meet a few of the lads from the Blonde Forum. That little biatch Cos was 1 hr late after getting on the wrong fookin train and we got to Notts at about 5pm and then met up with Dan 'Kinboshi' Phillips, Matt 'EvilPie' Russell, Stuart 'Stuart Hopkins' Hopkins and some geezer called Ed who actually only lives down the rd from me in Bushy. We flew at 7.30 and Cos managed to shizz off a quick €200 losing four €50 PLO flips versus EvilPie and two other lads from Blonde George2loose and Blatch, gd start m8. The flight was only 30 odd mins and after i manged to lose a 5 way flip for the €25 taxi fare we got to our Hotel at about 9.30. We basically flipped for all taxi fares and food whilst we where out there, soooo balla i know, it was gd fun.
Quick scrub up and we met up at the bar for a few bev's where we where joined by Aaron. Myself and Papertits headed off for some munch at about midnight after sinking a few pints and despite only eating a Burger it cost me €25 after losing the flip, sigh. The prices where reeeediculous in Dublin, its probs the most expensive place i've ever been too, the euro is shiiiiiit atm, its basically £1=€1. Pints where about €7 and the munch was even dearer. Turned in for an earlyish night after food at about 1am because we both didn't wanna feel like an absolute cunts in the tournay the next day.
Woke up pretty late on the Friday and arrived at the Regency just before the start of the tourn obv losing another €20 flip versus Cos for the taxi. The tournament looked really well organised with a decent structure and i took my seat at what turned out to be an ok table with my 10k starting stack, however things didn't go to well for me. I can't remember all the hands now but i do remember bluffing off about 2.5k in the 3rd or 4th level in a button v sb situation where the button raises and i 3 bet with air, he peels i c-bet and he min raises. sadgtrhyrtgew. I dont think he was folding to a jam so i chucked my pile of shizz into the muck. It was probably a big mistake so early in the tourn to be donking off 1/4 of my chips in that fashion and its not really my usual style, doh. Sadly i found myself with 15 bigs in level 5 with 3k but managed to get back to 7.5k when i check called a turn bet and checked called an allin from oppo when i had top pr in the blinds and knew the slut had an airball. After the break i won 3 hands without showdown to get me back to 12k playing 150/300 which i was pretty happy about but then came my exit hand, comments on how i played this hand and how i could have played it differently please....

I have 11.7k at 150/300 and raise to 800 in the hijack with AQcc and the button flats. Flop 972 with two clubs. I decided to check raise which in hindsight was probably a mistake because i had just under 40 bigs. If i had around 25 bigs i would prolly check blast to get as many chips in the pot as poss with FE rather than c betting and having to call a blast but check blasting here seemed a bit extreme given my stack. So i check and the same fish i caught bluffing earlier bet 1.5k and i made it 5k with around 6k back. He tanked for a minute or two then called. I put him on a weak top pair or maybe some funky str8 draw or flush draw which i obv have crushed. The king of diamonds popped on the turn and i stuck my 6k in the middle praying for a fold. The lil coooount reluctantly called showing 109o for top pr and i bricked the river. I fkin hate the way he played his hand but i think i could have played it differently to get him to fold or maybe i should just be firing half pot on flop and repping the king on the turn with another smallish bet or even check raising the turn because it looks stronger?? If he calls both streets i probs give up and still have an ok ish stack. I was gutted about busting quite early in level 6 cause i wanted a deep run, oh well nevermind :-(
Seeing as it was still early doors myself Aaron and Stu got on the juice and sank quite a few pints around town. We had loads of little comedy €5 n €10 bets on stupid stuff like how long it would take each of us to piss and also bet a few quid on a game goin on at the time between Brazil and Ghana like the next corner, throw in etc. I managed to make a few quid on them bets during the night and we where later joined by a few other people like Blatch and EvilPie and ended up going to three strips joints in one night! The first strip joint was an absolute hole, think its the scummiest strippers i've been too not that i've been to a few. The second gaff was much better and i managed to win a 6 way €20 flip for a €100 10 min perforamce for a girl of my choice, weeeeee. The dance werent that great tbh although the lads said i was in there longer than 10 mins. A five min dance was €50 in every place, it just ain't worth it, i'd prefer to just get my knob sucked in Amsterdam or summat for that price. The last established was the usual array of tits and pussy and myself and Stu rolled in about 6am after my 2nd Kebab of the trip, argh.
On the Saturday i woke feeling ok and after listening how Greekstein spewed off his 90k stack playing 800/1600 in epic fashion late on day 1 a few of us headed back to the Regency to play some cash. I was a bit gutted that Cos wasn't still in tbh because i had 10% and it would have been gd fun to rail the fish deep on day 2. In the cash game i sat with Stu and Ed in a €1/2 and tbh i think i dodged a few bullets and ended up breaking even. Again i can't remeber many hands but i won a decent pot when i opened UTG with kq and button flats. Flop kq5 i lead and button flats. Turn is a ten, i check and oppo bets €75 and i blast for 60 odd more and he shows AA and folds!! Its was a gd fold but the donk should have check behind on the turn if he was gonna fold to a check blast or at least bet less than €75. After a couple of hrs a few of us went down the road for a bit of munch as i had only eaten a burger and 2 kebabs since arriving lol. I managed to swevre the 3 way €40 flip for food which Kinboshi got stung for then myself Ed, Dan, Stu and Aaron went out on the juice.
We spent most of the night at some gaff called Buskers and all ended paying €75 for 5 way rounds, fk our lives! It was a really gd night actually and we were all pretty gutted when it shut at 3am. With nowhere else to go apart from strip clubs we went back to the Regency to catch the last 2 hrs of the cash game. I ended up at being sat at a real juicey tarb with some Irish cunt who was abs hammered. He was pissing the whole tarble off and i was just sat there praying for a sitaution where i could stack the cunt and after about 30 mins it came along.. I open with 44 in EP to 7 uri's and my new best mate flats. Flop A94 with two clubs, BINGO! I c bet and he just shoves his whole stack in Hellmuth like style. The turn was the jack of clubs and im like fml i bet the slut had a floosh draw and just made it. However the ace pops its little head on the river like it usually does because everyone who has ever played poker knows theres at least 10 aces in every deck so its only fair i can hit one now and again. So im my head i'm like phew, ship me the monies, fist pump, wheelspin etc etc and then the mother fkin slutpig bastard cunt flips AJ for runner runner back door fkin better full house, lkjlkihyuvcrdxgsdfghjbklljhg gg life! That one stung alittle after an expensive night on the lash.

After waking up quite late in the afternoon on Sunday i was umming and erring about what to bout decided to put in a lengthy ish sesh on the cash tabs but continued to run pretty shiz and ended up doing another €400 so i was stuck about €650 in the cash games and thinking about calling it a day. I almost did call it a night but blew out EvilPie when i almost got a taxi with him and instead borrowed 200 from Cos and sat in a really fun 1/2 with a bunch of Irish fish who where giving a lot of action. This one comedy geezer was raising every pot and he had pos on me so my basic strat was to limp with decent hands and repop the fish when he made his standard raise. I limp with AKdd and matey boy makes it 11 however this other geezer makes it 56 to go and im like ut oh that looks like a middle pr and i know he aint folding but im stuck i might be ahead and i wanna double. I just jam and he calls with 99 and holds ffs. I'd lost quite alot of stupid 50/50 sitautions in the poker like this during the whole weekend and it was costing me. After an hr or so Cos joins me at the same tarb and im down to 80 odd euros and feeling a bit sorry for myself just looking to get it in and either double up or fk off back to the hotel, then a dream hands comes my way...

I limp UTG with 77 looking to jam over the top once matey boy makes it his usually 11 euros. He makes it 11 as per and gets 2 callers and i jam in my €80 and all 3 of them call! Flop comes Kxx 2 hearts and one fish blasts another calls and matey boy actually turns over JJ and folds. The fish have AK and Ax for the nut flush so im dead to 1 card. Turn is the ace and the river is a boootiful black zieben babay quadroople me up 1 time, one outays FTMTW, weeeeeeeeeeeee. A few hands later i found pock bullets and won a nice chunk of change from matey boy and one other fish and eneded up staying there until 5am playing the very last hand of the IPO enjoying the table banter and ended the trip losing €300 instead of €800 so it kinda felt like a win cause i was ready for home time just before the 77 hand.
The Monday was pretty much a chill out day. I tried to play Chinese Poker but quickly realised i was a terrible at it even thou there isnt much skill involved. We all went for food and i managed to swevre the credit card roulette for a 6 way munch bill which would have cost 90 euros, ul Cos :-) After the food we played a lil 9 man 10 euro sit n go with chips that Stu had brought to the bar which Cos won to make his money back and then we just done a few random PLO flips for €5 a pop.
In sum, it was a decent little trip and im glad i went. All the lads where pretty sound its just a shame i didn't run/play better in the poker. I did run pretty gd in the taxi and food flips i guess but i doubt i'll be returning to Dublin soon as its just too fkin expensive. After we landed a few of the lads went to DTD, i was proper knacked thou and decided to drive the fish there and head home. I dont think they where too impressed with my driving skills tbh, i prolly should have warned them that i am the worlds worst driver and to belt up.
Since getting home i've not done too much tbh. Gonna prob start playing poker next week and just gonna spend much of the weekend with the bird. Got a few plans and things happening in the pipeline soon thou, so its all gd. Laters.

Off to Dublin

2009-10-13T19:21:00.004Z

Off to Dublin on Thursday with a bunch of Blonde fish for 4 days/nights and I'm really looking forward it, weeeeeeeeeee. Driving up to Notts Thur afternoon with Cos aka Greekstein then flying with the rest of the lads from East Midlands Airport at 19.30. Were all gonna be playing the $250 buy in International Poker Tournament on Day 1a on the Friday and then hopefully I'll be back to ship mad dimes on Sunday for Day 2. I'm not that booved about the poker tbh and not actually sure how much i am going to play, any profit will be a huge bonus as its likely to be an expensive trip. There will plenty of cash games going on and also a few $50-200 side events so I'll see how it goes. Looking forward to seeing a bit of Dublin and just a short change of scenery is deffo needed so it should be a wicked crack. Were all staying at this gaff which looks pretty decent and it has it own night club which looks cool.
Not played much poker online at all this month, volume levels have been terrible, might play a small sesh tonight. I've been sorting a few things out recently and its looking really positive for the near future. Shit with the bird is pretty cool atm, my life roll is as high as its been since Feb and a lengthy trip to Australia and New Zealand in January is looking as realistic as it ever has done. The only real shit thing that has happened in the last week is that i have completely fucked my lower back up in the gym today, I'm in abs agony. I feel like an old man atm fingers crossed it will be ok in Dublin. Hopefully more on that Oz and NZ trip when its confirmed in another post but in the meantime my main concern is get to and from Dublin in one piece, please god let me run good just once! Laters :-)

Life Is Gooooooood

2009-10-10T02:20:00.001Z

It is good ain't it? Even if it is shit its probably good. Life is good, enjoy.

Knocking On The Door

2009-10-02T21:49:00.003Z

I think i must have played about five maybe six times since my live blogging post and its basically been a series of near misses busting out between 6th-14th in quite a few tourns esp on PP. I've busted 8th and 6th in the fooking $109 $10k gtd, 11th and 8th in the $30rb $10k gtd and 14th in the bloody $109 $12k gtd as well as a string of close calls on ipoker. I did manage a 2nd the other day but that was only in a mini mouse $27 mtt. Furthermore i had that horrible 11th in a $55 $20k gtd when i was 2/11 which still tilts me btw and another 6th in the $109 $12k gtd during that live blogging post. I guess i have been running quite good to get into these positions because its not like i have been playing a redic amount of games when i have been playing but i feel like a $5k+ day is imminent. I'm still making a decent profit though so it's not the end of the world.
Off the cyber felt things have generally been really shit and recently i have been a bit down. I am fucking bored, everyday for the last two weeks has been the same. Wake up at a redic time, play a few tourns, almost ship the lot, knock one out (sometimes two), then go to bed. My relationship with the bird has gone a bit tits up as well recently but the thing is i am not even sure if i am even that bothered? I am bothered, she's great but i am in a kinda limbo state of mind atm, i still dunno whether i am gonna fuck off to Oz and Nz for 6 months or not? I'm probs meeting the bird tomo so the next post might be something like GG Relationships.
In between the last two weeks i actually had a really cracking weekend, last Friday afternoon/night getting ball bagged with my mate Ads in the Empire whilst railing the Caesars Cup. I met up with a few other fish whilst i was there like Greekstein and Dave Allen and it was a good laugh. Pure jokes with me Ad's and Dave railing the £5k PLO event with Howard Lederer HU with a pissed up Ad's screaming out come on Howeee, raise him up Howeeee, C-bet Howeee, aggression Howeee. We were sat at the very front and we got a few strange looks from Mr Howeee himself, lol pure com. Saturday night was good as well in Watford for Scotchniks 30th b'day (old coount). I had one of his work colleagues on my case and if it weren't my bird i prolly would have. I'd never cheat on Kels though, or anyone tbh, i just don't think its nice.
Need to snap out of it this week and get out of this lull I'm currently in. I'm going to Dublin for 4 days in 2 weeks time for a $250 comp and beers galore with a bunch of Blonde fish which is gonna be wicked so until then i need to stop being a cunt, get my head right and ship some mad ones, laters.

Whoops

2009-09-27T17:36:00.037Z

Had a really good weekend which i will blog about another time but for now ill post about the events that took place about one hour after publishing my last blog entry. I won't write too much because the pictures basically tell the story but at about 5am on Wednesday morning i decided to sit on my glass coffee table. Basically i was kinda boxed in so instead of moving the table to one side i thought i would kinda hop over it lol. Obv the thin sheet of glass couldn't handle the pressure of my man boobs and i fell clean through two sheets of glass. The table broke into thousands of pieces all over the floor and I sliced the sole of my right foot open which was quite nasty but i was lucky not to do myself more damage tbh. I could have ended up cutting my wrists or even worse ended up with a piece of glass up my arsehole. So there i am at fooking 5am after an 8 hr sesh online sat on my jack jones covered in glass. I actually sat there in the glass for a good 5 mins in a kinda semi shock like state. WTF am i doing???

I text Scotch to tell him to be prepared for a bit of mess and that i'd had a small accident and not gone on raging tilt and smashed the flat up. In hindsight thou it would have been much better if I'd have waited for him to come home and smeared a bit of claret on my face and pretended to be unconscious or summat. The ginger fish would have shit himself lol. Anyways i wont be sitting on any glass tables in the future thats for sure, laters!
Check out all the lastest updates at the WSOPE ;-)

Live Blogging

2009-09-22T18:04:00.027Z

Playing a ton of tourns tonight, about $1k worth of Buyin's depending on rebuys which is quite big for a small fishay like me. Haven't played much in last few days as i have been struck down with the dreaded man flu. Played a few games on Sunday and managed a 3rd in the $25 DS for a small profit on the day. Here's the schedule for tonight on ipoker and Party.

Gonna post my results in this entry as and when i bust. Please let me run golden!!!

First bust out of the night. 44/106 in the 10k gtd $109 on pp. One limper and i blast 10 bigs in the sb with 66. The limper who has about 11 bigs decides to call with A3, wp sir.

FMFL! Here we go. $10k gtd $22r i have decent chips and peel in the CO with 33. Flop 38A two clubs. Theres a bet, an allin from a shortie and i shove in 25k playing 300/600. Called by A10cc. Turn 10 river 10! Pot for huge chip lead. FUCK OFF 97/179. dsfgjtrewaertyui

Weeeeeeeeeeeee. WestHam beating Bolton 1-0 away in the Carling Cup. Wemblay Wemblay!

Fuck off Kevin Davies

Just won a redic pot in the $100 DS for CL. Playing 2.5k at 20/40. ep fish makes it 160 and gets 5 callers. I just jam AA hoping to look weak called by KK, 1010 and 45 (wtf)

Sigh, the hammers lost 3-1 aet. Currently 10 tarbling.

Busted the hi/lo making a tez play 35/111

Busted a $5k gtd AK v AQ. Q on river obv. Finding things tough atm.

Busted one of the redic field rebuys on ipoker.

Just busted another, fuck knows which one, playing too many tarbs tbh.

Fuck it! Just busted the $55 on pp in 11th. I was 2/11 then lost with Q8 v A4ss after making 3 queens then gambled with QJ and lost vrs 1010 getting well over 3/1. Then shoved 66 into AA. BOLLOCKS! Also just cashed in the $8r losing AK v QQ for loadsa chips. Gutted about the $55, $5.2k uptop and i was 2/11. Busted loads of other games as well mainly with the usual 3 out shizzle lol. iutryfyrrytyuiukl

Losing key races, currently 2 tarbling the $100 on both pp and ipoker :-(

Busted the $100 DS in 22nd, top 20 cash. Lost KK v 99 then shoved QJ into 99 and lost again. Last game left is the $109 $12k gtd on pp currently 9/25. Please god.

Final tarb of the $12k gtd coming in 5/10. I think i need at least a 6th to show some prof for the night. One mother fkin time!

Sigh, busted it in 6th for $720. Shiiiip the 50 doll profit for the day! lol. If a couple more keys hands would have held and i didn't have that bad luck/blow up in the $55 $20k gtd to go from 2/11 to busto in 11th then it could have been a very good night. Really enjoyed playing this schedule though and hand on heart would have said the same if I'd have lost $500-800 on the night. I think the total buyins for these games would normally be about $1-1.3k because i think i ran quite good on rebuys. Gonna tinker with the schedule a wee bit and get rid of some of the shitty little games then play it again. Night.

Poker Mojo Returning???

2009-09-19T22:23:00.008Z

No nasty images in this post just a quick update after a good night on the tarbs yesterday night. Following on from my 4th in the $50f and 6th in the $30f on ipoker i managed to place 2/187 in the same $50f for $1.5k. I had a nice CL head up as well but the bastard got it back and we had exactly the same stacks when the poker gods decided to shit on my face and flop me a Qhi str8 on an J109 all heart board and my opponent the nut flush. I had the queen of hearts as well for the str8 floosh draw, dont think i could have escaped that one tbh esp with such shallow stacks. I also managed a 3/347 in the $7r for $610 although i can't remember my exit so it probably wasn't an ice cold deck or a bad beat. I almost made a few more final tarbles finishing 28/575 in a $5r and a 13/339 in a $20f where i really fucked things up. I could have sat out and finished about 5th tbf but decided to call a shove bvb from the tighest cunt on the tarble with the mightay K5o and then shoved about 12 bigs UTG with KQ, wp Jones you cock! Can't complain though and the month is turning into another good one after a really terrible start.
I have actually been quite enjoying my poker of late and i think my mojo is slowly returning. Of course it helps that i am winning but i think the main reason i am winning is because i am actually playing a decent amount of volume which always helps! :-) One thing that has definitely got me playing more is the fact that i now have a sort of semi little poker office in my lounge with my lappy and attached screen on a computer desk in the corner. For years i have played poker sat on my sofa usually in a horizontal position with one eye on the box but finally after chatting to Scotch about my lack of motivation last month i seem to have adopted a small amount of professionalism into my poker playing. There is still a long looong way to go because i could easily play at least double the volume that i have been but since my win at DTD last month things have gone quite well. Probably gonna play loads more tourns on ipoker next week so watch out for the starfish. Also going to the Empire on Friday for the Caesars Cup to catch up with one of the orginal and best bloggers out there Yorky Pud. For all the lastest info on The WSOPE check this link out WSOPE UPDATES Laters!

starfishFTW

2009-09-18T03:07:00.004Z

Nice image of the errrr starfish i'm sure you will agree although it has nothing to do with this short sharp entry, I just thought i would post the image to add a bit of colour to my blog :-) StarfishFTW is the user name of my new ipoker account on CelebPoker. I basically had 100 euros in there since it switched over from the boss network and thus decided to play a couple of small mtt's on there this week. I played the $27, $33 and $55 deepstack games making two final tarbs which is pretty decent. I finished 6/178 in the $33 losing three fooking flips and also placed 4/161 in the $55 losing with AK v Q9 vrs some super aggy cooount who 3 bet me aifp. I flopped a king as well but his Q9 made a straight, SLUT! Win that and i prolly win the lot, sigh. Nevertheless i'm quite content with a 550 euro profit from them three little tourns. Also made a few bits and bobs from 45 manners and 6max games on ftp so everything is still ticking along ok. My current horsay and gd friend Adam 'i got nuttin2lose apart my marbles' Bell has also run golden recently and made me a few more hundred dollario to add to Amatay's empire, well played fish. Time for shut eye, laters.

"Agony"

2009-09-13T21:51:00.006Z

The title of this current blog post is somewhat extreme to say the least but basically i have been laid up on my sofa all day battered and bruised from another game of Sunday league footy this morning. We managed to grind out another 1-1 draw despite being outplayed all over the park and i've got lumps bumps and cuts all over my fucking legs. I played an absolute shocker today and never got into the game at all, i was really shit. One of the big fk off bumps came from some little bastard who basically just danced around me like i weren't there so i decided to take the little coount out and done myself some damage. The other career threatening injury i have is one of those bastard grass burns on my left kneecap, i hate those mother fucking things they bloody kill. I've not had a shower all day and im lying here stinking of sweat and piss but i don't wanna get in the shower because i know its gonna sting like fuck. I think I could be out for the season with this injury tbh. Despite the agony i have still put myself through the pain barrier today to put in some insane volume! I played three $33 6 max SnGay's, a $10r PLO tourn and a $5 HU tourny with a few of the RTR fish so its been an intense day at the tarbles! Played a few of these 6 max things recently and they have gone well but i only won one of them today. I busted the 10r deepish in crazy fashion for top 5 in chips vrs some absolute plum and also and made the final of the HU tourn, congrats to zagga who shipped it.
I played alot more poker on Friday winning another $700 to continue the gd run from the previous three days that i blogged about in my last boring post. I'll have another quick moan as usual because despite winning 2k over four days i still feel like im running bad lol. According to OPR i have finished in the top ten 46 times in the faggot $26 45 manners but have only won three fooking times. Been getting my bottom raped HU as well mainly because the blinds get too big and its tough to play flops and these idiots just donk it in pre and massively overplay their shitty ace rags type hands. Nevvvvermind, running decent just to get there i suppose.
Didn't play any pokes on Saturday because i went to Wembley to watch Saracens v Northampton with my bird and a few of her mates because kels got some free tickets. That dance group Diversity also threw some mad shapes before the game as well which was quite cool. It mbn to be able to dance that like, it would be sooo easy to pulls birds imo. Just do a bit of all that robot shit do the caterpillar the moon walk and a few other moves and bob's your uncle you will probably be getting your willy sucked before midnight unless you are a complete knob to chat too. I know very little about ruggers but it was summat to do and it was nice to see the new stadium which was immense. Despite my lack of knowledge i managed to make a few quid with some tiny interest bets wagering £5 on the 1st try scorer at 12/1 and a £10 bet on a Saracens HT/FT at 11/8, weeee.
LOL, just about to wrap up this latest installment into my 'balla' lifestyle and publish this bard boi post when i just googled the word agony to come up with an appropriate image to go with the post title and that picture of some bird looking like she's being rooted popped up on the first page so i thought that will do :-) I love that look on a birds face, when they are in the throes of sexual ecstasy, its like a beautiful agony. Right, i suppose I'll have to go and put myself through the pain barrier once again and have a shower before i get some shuteye, my knob is starting to smell, laters fish.

The Past Week...

2009-09-11T01:55:00.006Z

WARNING! This is a really boring post, nothing to exciting to report. I took four days off after last Thurs and on Fri i went to Luton Casino to play their £75 mr freeze which obv isn't strictly a night off. Busted that in nowhere getting shortish then losing a race with pock neufs. Saturday i went to my mate Mizons gaff for a BBQ and the England friendly with a load of chums which was a good crack and then later met up with the missus for cosy Saturday night rumpage. Sunday morning i played for my footy team which almost killed me. I played a full 90 and both myself and the team played well for the first 45 mins and we were winning 1-0. However, i barely touched the ball 2nd half and at one point i thought i was gonna pass ooot. Half our team were fooked and we got battered tbh but managed to hang on for a 1-1. Monday and Wednesday i spent some more time with the bird for more bloways and pooompage and today i played some Squash with my mate Gazza. I've also had time for some pokes on Tues, Wed and Thur. I still feel like i am running well below expectation but i managed to win about $1.2k over that time which is better than nothing init. Srsly feeling hard done by atm but whatever, i'll plough on. That's about it for now, laters.

Gonna Have a Break (Down)

2009-09-04T02:44:00.005Z

FUCK MY ENTIRE LIFE! I just shizzed off another chunk of change, it has been soo soooo siiiiik the last 24 hrs. How i have lost sooo much playing these mickey mouse 45 manner games is beyond me. Two and three outays all over the fkin shop, its unreal. I can't win a key flip to save my life either and when i get it in as a dog i never ever evvvvvver seem to get there. Even when i have a hand some slutpig has a better one. Jeeeeeeeebus! I need a short break i think or i am gonna go insane. How do people like Kennl and Moorman play so much? I am sooo bad at coping with the downswings. Its not i am losing millions either but it still hurts. Fucks sake, can you fish feel my pain??? If so please provide me with some much needed support and send any donations to the Amatay Foundation, Amatay on ftp or Simonjjj on Stars pls. The beats have been sooo redic that i am starting to play shit too, over playing certain hands pre flop and calling off too light in some spots. I used to argue with people that there is some room for pre flop play in these games instead of donking in it pre flop but now i am doing exactly that and have become a fkin push fold prick! Arrrghhh ergteirjfriocja[riciorhjxajikuyrfdgrththyjukileIODJXWIO.
On a positive note my latest horsay and good friend Adam 'i got nuttin2lose except countless five figure rolls plus my sanity and general all round mental and physical health' Bellamontation just made me $400, cheers mate! Oh yeah, i also shipped another UK Gatsby Award last month, whooopay fkin do! I think thats my 5th Gatsby Award and a world record? Shame the geordie fish don't give out cash prizes innit. Joking aside i am really fked off and tired, gd fuckin night.

Small Kick in the Nootlings

2009-09-03T03:09:00.006Z

Just managed to dust off 800 doll after playing about 50 odd of them stupid $26 45 manners. Its only a minor kick in the nuts i guess but i am still a bit pissed off. I don't think i have ever run so sick in such a short space of time like i did tonight in these games. It genuinely seemed like every time i had a hand like QQ KK vrs Ax aipf the motherlicker would hit the fucking ace whether it would be on the flop turn or river. Everything went wrong tbh. Maybe i was playing a bit too fast in reflection and donking it in pre with decent pairs and aces but it was still pretty sickening. One thing i do know is that the skill level i used to play these games at has definitely decreased significantly because i'm now 12 tabling them whereas i used to play 4-9 tarbs and concentrate more on each specific game. This is reflected in my dwindling ROI from 40% to what is now probably something like 30%. Maybe its just standard variance? 30+ ROI's are probably unsustainable in the long run anyways especially if you are multi tabling. In truth I have become a bit of a robot recently and i guess i need to workout whether its more profitable to play 12 tarbs like a donkey or 6-9 with more focus. At the end of the day its not about nice ROI's its about winrates and making some moola. Sighhhhhhh, what a load of BOLLOCKS!

Decent Bank Holiday

2009-08-31T23:05:00.007Z

Its been a good last couple of days both on and off the poker tarbs this wkend. On the Saturday me and the bird went into town for the day. First up we had a nice little river cruise on the Thames in the sunshine and then had some lunch and a little mince around the Tower Bridge and Trinity Gardens. We got the same cruise back to Westminster which was proper comedy with some cockney geezer pointing out all the major attractions that London has to offer. He was cracking a lot of gags and it was a good little trip. Whenever i usually go into town i either get ball bagged in the Square, Piccadilly and Soho areas etc or end up in the Empire Casino. You actually forget that there is a shit load of stuff to do in London and not all of it is redic expensive. After the boat thing we had a few beers in Covent Garden and watched this random blokes street performance from the Punch & Judy and then went to Trocadero to watch Man U vrs them dirty goons, wp Diaby.

On the Sunday morning i played footy for a new team i have recently signed for. I already know a few of the lads and its been nice to get back into the mix again. The team is prolly the best Sunday League side i've played for tbh. Last wk we beat last seasons league and county cup winners and this Sunday we pissed all over some team for another league beating em 5-1 in a friendly. The league starts next wk and apparently im starting right mid although i reckon i am gonna struggle to hold down a regular place especially as i've seen snails move quicker than me. Good thing i've got mad skillz and a decent football brain to make up for my lack of pace.
I didn't make the carnival in the afternoon mainly because a load of my mates met up at fookin 10am and footy didn't finish until 1pm and i didn't fancy treking into town on my jack jones to meet them bastards especially as it would have been rammo and difficult to find them. I just ended up having an afternoon snooze which was a bit gay and then made a tiny prof on the cyber felt in the evening.
Todays poker was more profitable and i booked a $550 ish win plus i earned my 250 VIP points on Boyle for the IPO festival in Dublin that i am going to in Oct. A decent end to the month i guess that sees me finish August with a profit of about $5,250. I could have easily played more than double the volume that i put in this month aswell imo. Its nice to know that i can still make some ok monies from this stupid game when i put some effort in. Its a lot tougher these days but its still like printing money, it always has been. Its a nice feeling to have that if i put the hrs in and stay disciplined and don't freak out too much then i'll make money. I made about $3.1k from 45 manners and the other $2k from normal mtt's plus a few bits and pieces from rakeback. The goal for Sept is to simply increase the volume and play more games than i did in August.
Haha, as i conclude this latest blog post i can hear my housemate Scotch banging his bird, it makes me laugh every time. Its usually all quiet then i hear about 30-40 seconds of frantic pumpage and then silence. About 4-5 mins later without fail the door to his bedroom opens and his bird scurries along the hall into the bathroom to wipe her fanny probably. What a disgusting thought having to wipe away Scotchay's smelly spoonk from your minge, arrrrgh. lol, i hope Scotch don't show her this blog! Anyways, I think I'll leave you with that thought for now fish, laters.

Fuck Off Full Tilt!!!

2009-08-29T00:20:00.006Z

It feels like i am running horrible atm and its pissing me off. I keep fooking breaking even which is obv better than losing but i feel like i am losing the majority of hands when im either flipping, ahead or behind alot more than i should be. arrrrrrrrrgh er3fjgliuewh;efr. I keep getting disconnected aswell which is really frustrating including tonight for a 10 -15min spell which i think prolly cost me between the region of $500-$1k. I had to log off for a couple of hrs after that and regain my composure. I don't often lose my temper but i was honestly really close to lobbing my shit fkin lappy against the wall. I logged back on after a small chill out and regained tonight's loses to yet again break even but i still felt hard done by even then. Can i get a crucial hand to hold??? NO! Can i win an important flip???? NOOOO. Can i suck out one time you mother fucking bastards????? OF COURSE I FUCKING CAN'T!!!!!! I am gonna end of looking like that geezer in the pic in a couple of yrs if this carries on i reckon. My mate Ad's who has been playing this sick game for a living for 5 yrs already looks a bit like him tbh ;-)
Tonight is probably the last time i'll play this month because im going out all day in London with the missus tomorrow and then i've got footy on Sunday morn followed by beers galore at the Notting Hill carnival in the afternoon/evening with the lads so it should be a gd weekend hopefully. Just staked one of my mates (the one in the pic) to play 70 $26 45 manners on a 50/50 + sb deal. He's got skillz a great record in these games but is always going busto because of his appalling brm and general all round degeneracy so hopefully he can make us both a few quid. Also turns out that i apparently owe someone else $500 for some stupid bet that i never knew existed until the other day which has fked me off. I still don't really know what the score with it is, or if i am even gonna pay up tbh. Ohhh well nevvvermind. Laters :-)

My New Website

2009-08-26T00:14:00.005Z

Alright fishays since my last post i have been extremely busy designing my new website and i can now unvail the finished article. Over 3 yrs ago i begun work on Amatay's Pokay and i can know introduce you all to Amatay's Pornay site, enjoy!!! Joking aside i haven't really got too much to post about atm, can you tell? :-) In fact im pretty sure that if i deleted my porn links that i would lose 2/3's of my "readers" tbh.

In regards to poker I have basically broken even over the past week which sucks massive cock and i got bum raped pretty hard in a session tonight aswell which pissed me off. Dunno what else to write, laters.

Winning, Staking, Wasps & Danger Wanks!

2009-08-18T13:32:00.010Z

Alright fishays, sorry i haven't updated recently its partly laziness and partly due to a bit of writers block tbh. Not got too much material atm, i guess im running out of Scotch jokes and porn links :-) Been playing bits and bobs of online pokay over the past week, mainly the $26 45 manners because im such a faggot plus a few mtt's mixed in. Its been going ok on the 45 manners and i've added another $1k to the roll since my last post so im up about $4.5k ish so far this month.
Been getting involved in staking a few fish recently as well. I was making a bit of money from staking Doomswitch at 11 doll SnGays until he donated all that profit back in his last session. Staked Kenn $600 one week as well but obv he runs shit whenever i back him. Got SnakeEyes making some money for me atm with a $550 stake for 50 $11 45 manners and he's doing really well thus far.

The lappy has been proper pissing me off recently. Twice i have had to shut down a session early because the fucker keeps freezing so i have to dig Scotchays crappy laptop out and by then i have kinda lost my rhythm. I also got stung by a fkin wasp today whilst in the midst of 9 tarbling which didn't help. I heard the little fucker buzzing behind my ear hole so i went to flick it away and the cunt stung me on the finger which tilted me up a bit so i went after the bastard thing with an old poker magazine. I was at 3 final tarbs at the time as well and there's me flapping around the living room trying to twat the little cunt whist the lappy was bleeping away. I swotted the little fucker but it was one of those swipes where you know you connected but you also know that its still probably half alive. After swiping it i couldn't see where it went so i returned to the lappy anxiously awaiting its return. Two minutes later i see the little bastard crawling up my shorts. I shit myself but eventually squashed the mother fucker. However, i didn't completely kill him off and he was still wriggling around on my window sill, but he was completely immobilised so i left him there. I wanted the cunt to die a slow and painful death for stinging me, bit twisted i know lol. I think i have been stung about 20 times in my life, i seem the attract the fucking things. I once stood on a wasp nest when i was a nipper and got done all over my legs. I fucking hate wasps!

Returning to the story about my rubbish laptop, i think the reason its gone sooo shit is because i have finally got the wireless working again and its seems to have slowed it right down. On the plus side though in means no more danger wanking in the living room! I can just take my lappy into my bedoom now if i fancy a sneakay wank. Definitely a good thing as it was only a matter of time before Scotchay would have caught me pants down bashing furiously away to some online Smut! Arrrgh, that would make for an errrr interesting blog post, especially if the ginger fish caught me at the point of no return, nightmares.
Had a really nice weekend just gone when my sister got married to her long term partner Mark. The day went really smoothly and i took my missus with me to meet my parents etc for the first time and everything went well. I was a bit nervous tbh, im not sure why but i guess that i just wanted everything to go well for my sister and the family etc and it did so result. Right, i wont bore you with the details of the day, later fishays.

"Grinding"

2009-08-10T20:58:00.004Z

Been grinding a fair amount since DTD, actually i'll stop there because that's complete bullshit, wtf am i talking about? I ain't been grinding at all, i think i have played 20 hrs in total which is really poor, its good for me i guess but it should be double tbh. I was up $1.4k after 6hrs but have since lost 14 hrs of my life along with 500 doll leaving myself with a $900 profit so far this month from the 45 manner games on FTP which is a bit tezza. I actually played one 7hr session from 8am-3pm on Thursday i think after being woken up by the missus with a delicious morning bloway. I really enjoyed it tbh, the poker session that is and the bloway (obv) but i decided to cut the session short after i noticed one of Scotchays ginger pubes clinging to my dressing gown whilst 9 tarbling and almost threw up. I couldn't concentrate after that so it was game over.
Nothing much to blog about im afraid, just been spending time with the bird which has been nice and playing the occasional bit of pokes. Every time i sit here in front of my lappy it seems like such a chore to play online and i get easily distracted. If i can somehow grind out a decent sum of profit in the next 2 wks or so then i am gonna try a small spin up at the end of the month. I have $900 on Party which has not been used in months and i plan to grind the 8, 10, 20 and 30 doll rebuys and 20, 30 50 and 100 freeze outs in an attempt to spin or bust the account. I also have a spare 100 euros floating around on Boss too so i might as well bust that on the same day.
Well done to Snake Eyes for winning the the www.raisetheriver.com league and an all expenses paid poker trip to Paris. The next league involving a poker trip to Amsterdam starts in a few weeks so get yourself signed upto the fourm you mugs! Also a big thanks to Accornman for bringing this site to my attention, cheers :-)

RTR@DTD=Weeeeeee

2009-08-04T13:29:00.008Z

Went to Dusk Til Dawn in Nottingham this weekend for a Raisetheriver forum meet up and had a good little trip. There were 10 RTR fish there in total 8 of whom stayed for the wkend at the Premier Inn including NoCash, Mr Origami, DoV, Rubbish (Ace), dD, Longy and Cogs, BurnleyMik and Ant joined us on the Saturday. Everyone seemed pretty sound tbh, i've meet Cogs, Mik, Ant and dD before and they are all cool blah blah blah. DoV was a funny cunt, fucking 100mph. I think he's probably quite a chirpy fellow anyways but i'm sure he must have been hooted up to the max or pilled out of his eye balls, prob both! NoCash was a bit of an animal aswell who loved to guzzle just about any alcoholic drink and who built himself a small rep as an aggro cash fish. Im gonna bust you up big time at the next meet you fkin donk ;-) Didn't really chat to Rubbish that much but he seemed like a top lad and has a funny story from the trip which i'm not sure i can mention because no one else seems to have said anything on the subject??? Mr Origami was a really nice geezer aswell which is surprising because he lives near and supports them dirrrtay scouse bastards Liverpool. Longy was the local boy and also a nice chap. He's been playing poker for a living for 5 yrs although from a brief chat we had it seems he is almost as lazy as me, fkin bum. Right, that's enough of sucking these fish off here's what i really felt about them... They are all a bunch of annoying irritating twats (especially Cogs) who are all shit at poker (especially Cogs). I basically endured their company for 48 hrs (especially Cogs) just to be polite and was only there to take their money (especially Cogs). Here's a rundown of the wkend's events....

Me and Coggy got there about 4pm and we all done the usual meet and greet stuff with the rest of the lads in the hotel lobby over a couple of sherbets then set off to meet up with Longy at some gaff next to a canal. Few more beers were sunk and we decided to go to DTD just to reg for the mickey mouse £50 freeze out on Saturday which in hindsight was probably a mistake. Most of us sat down at a .5/1 game with just 50 notes and that biatch NoCash quickly rinsed a few of us for a total of about £250 ish. He busted me once when i played AQ about as bad as possible on every street. I then busted DoV for his stack with 2pr vrs tp but somehow lost all my winnings then brought another £50 to the tarb before losing a flip versus some tool with pock snowman to leave me stuck a ton after about 30-45 mins. After this quick poker stint we all zipped back to the Premier Inn to briefly scrub up before going out into town.

I only remember goin to two places, cant recall the name of the first place but the second gaff was a standard Walkabout. Both places were quite quiet and a few of the lads nipped over the road to some other bar which sounded really good when i heard about it the next day. According to the lads it was a milf haven, which is my idea of heaven ;-) The fish came back from milf central after 15-20 mins and we decided to leave as Walks was a bit pony and peeps were leaving anyways as it was 2am. Apparently there was some club open until 6am and four of lads went there. I was ummming and errring about goin also but Cogs mentioned it would be some crazy rave gaff and after i moments thought i decided he was prob right and i didnt fancy it tbh. I've been to those places before, sort of like Hedi Kandi bollocks which i hate. Cogs was fkin trollified anyways and was ready for bed so i joined him! LOL thats sound proper gay. Fairplay to Dov, NoBollocks, dD and Mr O going thou although the next day they did say it was some nutter rave scene and a bit shit. I think DoV and NoCash went to the strippers after that aswell, dirtay fish! Strangely Rubbish had vamooosed???

Oh yeah one more thing i've also just remembered. Most of us also paid a visit to Mc'D's as we were all fking hanking. However, this must be the gayest Macca's ever because you couldn't just buy a burger you had to get a meal, WTF is that all about??? Never heard of that one. Coggy was abs steaming and getting proper angry bless the lil fish He refused to adhere to McD's stupid rules for a gd 20 mins strutting around outside looking like a pitball chewing a wasp until i told the fish to stop being a twat and just get a meal. Fkin redic rule thou and i was a tad pissed off myself. They had this giant security guard on the door prob because it kicks off a fair bit. I'm not surprised tbh because most people were getting a bit heated. I just wanna bloody burger ffs, fk the drink and fries you bastards!

Next day i've got the usual horrible hangover and have to listen to Cogs in the bed next to mine grief me up about what a larry i am and that i'm sooo lazy etc. Yes mate, i get bad hangovers most of the time and i like my lay ins in the morning and errr afternoons :-) I eventually surfaced at about 1pm and met most of the lads in the lobby, although DoV wasn't too be seen and no one caught up with him until 4pm that day. Rubbish was there thou and apparently his vanishing act was due to his smooth moves in the milf haven place. The geezer got hold of some bird, LEGEND! I told him the title of his next post should be Rubbish Rumps which strangely enough is also the story of Coggy's life according to his missus. Now here is the bizarre part...apparently this bird that Rubbish got hold of came down to the lobby at about midday, sat there with a few of the lads, had a smoke then went back to bed in Rubbish's room! FML that's unheard of. Usually when you have a one night stand you wanna get the fk out of there quick sharp. Perhaps Rubbish is some sort of animal in the sack and she wanted seconds??? Rubbish by name but not by nature, hahaha i make myself laugh sometimes. I hope you don't mind me writing about your sexual exploits btw mate? lol. If so gimme me a shout and i'll delete it.

Early afternoon we all had a mince around town then grabbed some munch in Yates and started to get back on the beers. We all got the standard all day brekkie which Mr O waffed down in about 0.7 seconds, seriously i have never seen someone eat soooo quickly. I bascially blinked and he had a clean plate. It took me about 10 mins to struggle through about half my munch although having said that Mr O might be the quickest eater ever but FML i have never seen someobody eat as slow as dD (you cunt). I think mould was beginning to grow on his food by the time that fish had finished. After DoV finally sufaced we all got a taxi down to DTD to play the evenings £50.

Nine RTR fish played this tourn which attracted a total of 94 runners. Mik and Ant had satted into the £300 but busted day 1 with pretty grim bad beat stories. My tournament got off to a superb start before i had even played a hand after finding out i had be drawn on the same tarb as Cogs and was sat to his direct left. Not only could i watch, laugh and abuse his weak play, it was easy chips, happy days! I managed to chip up abit early doors by trapping the same poor mug in quick succession by letting him bluff a chunk of chips off when he didnt know wtf he was representing. I then sucked out on some poor fish in a completely standard pot where i'd opened with JJ and a shortie blasted all over me. It was about half my stack and we were not exactly playing very deep as is the structure in these £50 live donkaments so i obv snapped him off and cracked his bullets with a jack on the river. After this hand i was never really in trouble and pretty much always felt in control of my tables. With about 35 left i won a key hand again when i opened with JJ and got too callers. I quite liked the QJx flop and C bet only to see some tool and one of the few fish left in the tourn who had me out chipped blast with Q10, [ ] wp mate. After this hand i was always CL or there abouts and bascially bulldozed over the field. The players were really tight and it was a poor field tbh, i was raising with all sorts of bullshiz with little resistance apart my from some idiot who 3 bet me allin after i had been raising about 4 times every orbit with J6o. I didnt hate his move tbh because he had enough chips to make me fold etc but unfortunately for him on this occasion i had AK and it held. It felt like i pissed it from about 14 players onwards with everyone folding to the money and i eventually ground down the field and got HU with a decent young geezer. Made a few moves on this bloke as he wasnt a complete fish and he got pretty short before blasting all in with pock 8's and its always nice to look down at a pair of hooklings when someone does that! Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. JJ deffo the hand of the tourny for me. Shippardee shipppp shipppppppppp mcgipp! £1,645. Thanks to Rubbish and Mr O for the railage.

Its was a great little trip and such a nice touch for me to win the £50f plus i made an extra £90 from a last longer bet. Been a decent start to the month as i made a quick fire $560 on ftp last night so happy days. Great to meet all you lads, look forward to the next one. Laters!!

Egypt With The Bird

2009-07-27T15:32:00.021Z

Alright fish, been back from holiday for five days now and yesterday was the first day since i have been back that i really started to feel the holiday blues. I just love being out in the sun doing different things in different countries and it just sucks such massive cock being back in Watford. Oh well, its not the end of the world, I'm pretty lucky and have a good life i guess so no moaning Jones you little slut. Here's a little blog about the hols complete with pictorials...

The trip was actually the first time i have been away with a bird and it went alot better than i had previously thought. Actually thinking about it i didn't really have any preconceived ideas about how me and the missus would get on, i just went thinking everything would be fine although i began to have my doubts on the very first night when we had a little argument. Basically after a long journey including a fucking 2.5hr transfer on a coach from the airport to our hotel we arrived at redic O'clock in the morning the next day and we where both really tired. We were also both really horny as well and i think Kels wanted a quick rump before bed but i was fooking shattered. However, i too had the raging horn but just could not move a muscle. I was like Kels gissa a little wank please. She was like no, fuck off, if I'm not getting any then nor are you! Ahhhh man FFS! We were for both a bit ratty from the travel and lack of shut eye and in my hazay/hornay state of mind i called her a nob and rolled over for some kip :-) The next morning we kinda had a few little tiffs as well but after that the holiday went great.

Our apartment was really nice and the pool area was lush. The first day was just spent by the pool trying to catch some rays and in the evening we caught the hotel fun bus down to Naama Bay. The main strip is full of these little gaffs where everybody sits down for a few drinks and gets high smoking these big fuck off bongs, I loved these things and was on them most nights. It was basically flavoured baccy and got you quite high without them giving you a harsh throat or stinky breath. There's all sorts of flavours, cherry, apple, strawberry etc i should have brought some home with me.

We where supposed to catch the fun bus home at something like 11pm but obv fucked that off as it was far too early plus we where both in the zone so continued to drink a few more beers plus smoke ourselves into oblivion. We ended up booking a small excursion to go quad biking in the desert to watch the sunset the next day.

We didn't really get going until midday as we were both still feeling the affects of travel the night before plus we both had a sore head and obv had a nice morning rump. Our Quad biking thing didn't start until 4.30 so we spent a few hrs at Kanabesh beach where we prob spent half the hol, it was usually there or the pool area during the day.

One for the ladies....

I thought the quad biking was gonna be abit pony and involve us driving about some shitty dusty field with a few other tourists who had also been ripped off but it was nothing like that. It was quite well planned and there were tons of other fish doing it at the same time. We went right out into the desert and amongst the mountains. We saw something called the Echo Temple, a few rogue camels plus there were two drink stops, it was well worth the money imo.

I've decided to protect the identitay of Miss Amatay in this post not because she is redic ugly but i just don't think she would appreciate having her face plastered all over my world famous blog. Here is the only pic of the missus that i am going to post. They gave us these head scarf things because of the sand etc. We look like a couple of terrorists!

After the quad biking we went out in the evening for munch, beers and more smokes. I got pretty mashed up this night and paid a deposit for a diving excursion the next day even thou neither of us have ever been diving before! I also brought Scotchay a small gift, a pic of my face scanned onto a tacky plate so every time he eats off it he sees my ugly mug glaring back at him :-)

The next day the holiday went alittle bit shit as we both got semi sick, we both had the shits for about 48hrs which wasn't too nice so we blew out the diving thing. It was fucking falling out of my arse, every time i took a dump it would just piss out of my bum hole. I even shit the bed on day 3 when i accidentally followed though with a wet fart. I don't think the missus was too impressed although it couldn't be helped it just kinda happened, I'm such an old romantic me. I doubt the poor maid who had to clean up my wet poo stain was that impressed either. Apparently quite alot of people get sick in Sharm as its a bit dodge, oh well nevermind.

Towards the end of my brief sickness i decided to play Water Polo mainly because we had too fit birds on our team. We played against this bunch of fooking giants, they we all from the Ukraine and must have only been about 18-19 yrs old plus they were ultra competative. One of them reminded me of that Russian from the film Rocky IV Ivan Drago. Here's a pic of me errr marking Drago out of the game lol. I think i was standing up and he was on his knee caps at the time. 'If he dies..... he dies'

Me scoring a goal, have it! Good photography from the bird.

Errrr what else what else, errrrm basically it was just beach or pool in the day which was cool and then munch in the evening in either restaurants by the sea or places like TGI's or the Hard Rock Cafe followed by a few beers and the odd smoke :-) On one of the days we done a bit of snorkelling in the Red Sea in this little bit of coral on Kanabesh Beach. The coral was tiny but it was full of life, it was pretty amazing. We saw all sorts of different colourful fishays all shapes and sizes and it was much better than the coral/fish i saw in the Carib last year. Here's a few more snaps for the ladies lol....

Message to JJay....

I've got tons more pics including some nice ones of me and the missus but that will do for now. Proper gutted at being back home today. Since i have been home i've been to the gym twice, played a bit of Squash gone out with the bird and got semi ball bagged in town with a few mates. I'm bored again now though and yesterday was the first day since i've have been back that i haven't really been busy. I've played two smallish sessions of online poker and things haven't gone too well. I have busted 25 of those ghey $26 45 manners on the spin without a single cash which is my worst run ever. I also got fucked over to bust 4th in a $44 mtt on FTP and had a sick one last night when i lost a monster 3 way pot with AA v AQ v JJ whilst itm for the absolute world in the $8r on PP. Not really sure whats happening about my 6 month trip to Oz and Nz in November, i am in a kinda limbo state of mind atm. If i do go and i don't play the volume required to make a living in the next 3 months and i don't play much when travelling i'll probs be near broke when i get home and will need a job. That's a disgusting thought tbh, better come up with a plan and stick to it one time. I will be ok, laters fishays :-)

I'm Going To Egypt

2009-07-13T01:44:00.006Z

Tomorrow afternoon with the bird for one week to Sharm El Sheikh, GG new start/new grind. Its Kels b'day on Thursday so i thought i'd treat her plus she works redic hard and deserves a break unlike myself. I WILL begin another new start/new grind (my 27th so far i think) if i return home safely some time next week :-)

Played a bit of poker since Brighton and made a few quid but nothing worth raving about. Also played the http://www.raisetheriver.com/ league game two tonight and had a dirty 3 outer to bust me 7/12, I came 2/12 last week. It's basically a four game 12 man satty for a two night all expenses trip to Paris to play a tournament at the Aviation Club in Paris. Click here for all the details! It was originally my idea and both myself and BurnleyMik have put a fair amount of work into making it happen. Next month will involve an all expenses trip to Amsterdam to play in an event at the Dutch Masters. Get yourself signed up fish, its a cracking little forum, with staking opportunities and good banter etc and this time i have not been paid to say that! ;-)

Stoned Poker ftw

2009-07-09T13:04:00.003Z

Down in Brighton atm just chilling with my mate Cogs who is kinda playing poker for a living since he got made redundant last month. Its quite nice to actually sit in the same room with a fellow poker fish discussing hands and playing poker at the same time. I reckon if i did this more i would probably be more motivated and would also probably improve as a player just because of reg convo's about hands and strat etc. You read about online degens getting gaffs together and just grinding the tourns and cash games, it must help. We also had a few cheeky bifters last night and that made me feel really focused and zoned into the games i was playing. I used to be stoned practically every day of my life when i was at uni back in the day. All we used to do was get stoned tbh, that and play billions of games of ISS Pro Evo on the PS whilst monged out of my brains, get pissed, rump a few birds and hammer out a few intense days of study. It would have been wicked if online poker was around 8-9 yrs ago, i would have made a shit load of dosh. Anyway, i managed to make $600 last night which was ok ish given the games and hrs i played. I might have to get back on the gear, how much is a 8th of skunk these days? :-)

In other news, i just booked a cool little 4 night trip to Dublin in Oct to play in the International Poker Open. I'm flying/staying with 11 other fish from the Blonde forum. It only cost £160 for flights and accommodation, it should be a funny few days. I've also got the RaisetheRiver forum meet up at the end of the month at DTD in Nottingham which should also be a good crack. Suppose to be going away with the bird next week as well as its her b'day but nothing booked yet, were thinking either Turkey or Egypt atm, i guess i need to start grinding, sigh. Life's good, laters fish.

Yet Another Overreaction

2009-07-02T22:59:00.005Z

Made back all yesterday losses and i am now in profit for July. I am such a fucking plum! Get a grip Jones one fkin time. You are a such a penis sometimes! Srsly though, i need to calm the fuck down. I've been playing this stupid game for 5 yrs, i know the score, i understand the variance in poker and i have experienced many ups and downs but i still let minor hiccups affect me. Fucking plum Jones.